Thursday, December 17, 2009

This Is Just De-Pressing!

This psycho in Massachusetts says she knows her life is going to be "good" - despite being separated from her husband and having her work hours cut - because she can see the image of Jesus in her iron. Jesus Fucking Iron! You know who else that filthy mark looks like? How about Charlie Manson, the Predator alien, and every member of ZZ Top?

I know we get a "I can see Jesus/Mary in my _________________" story every week. They are all depressing to me because these people are finding solace, or miracles, or whatever in mundane shit instead of actually doing something to make their lives better. Faith should lift you up, not make you a pathetic, gullible, stupid loser. If your faith actually makes you a pathetic, gullible, stupid loser (like this idiot with the dirty iron), maybe you should consider atheism.

And where do we get off calling Muslim martyrs crazy? At least they die for what they believe in based on religious teachings. Here in the "In God We Trust" land, we worship toast and dog asses and irons that have weird, shadowy shapes as being messages from God. What the fuck?

Religious zealots all irk the shit out of me, but I can at least respect the ones that base their zeal on scripture and personal experiences. Shadowy images on food, household appliances, and animal asses are apocryphal at best, and moronic at worst. Religion may be the opiate of the masses, but it is also the acid of the stupid.

Stop looking for signs to make you feel all warm and fuzzy and take care of your shit. Go to a couple's counselor to work on your marriage. Go find another job or go back to school. Actually do something to make your life "good," and stop waiting for it to just happen because of your magic-Jesus-iron!

That being said, I wonder if she has given any thought to the fact that she is rubbing a steamy hot Jesus against the crotch of her pants every time she presses them.

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