Thursday, December 10, 2009

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned - Who Has Access To Food

One woman poured boiling hot grits on her boyfriend because he said he was going to break up with her. Another woman battered her man with a raw steak because he refused a slice of bread and asked for a dinner roll instead. What the fuck?

I have heard of using sex as a weapon. And I've heard of substituting food for sex. But using food as a weapon? These attacks are both a waste of food and too messy - which you know the women are going to have to clean up because GOD KNOWS the men are not going to lift a finger to clean anydamnthing!

I admit the steak one just seems funny to me, but boiling hot grits can seriously fuck you up! I mean the "he's gonna need skin grafts" kind of fucked up. That shit burns! Of course, the dude told her he was going to break up with her, then he went to bed and went to sleep, apparently knowing full well that she had access to grits, water, and heat. Idiot! He had to know something bad was going to happen.

Here's the rule for future reference: When you break up with someone, one of you has to LEAVE THE PREMISES. If you go to another room and just go to sleep after dumping a grits-boiling maniac, you're gonna get burned. I'm just sayin'.

Also, FYI - The only thing worse than grits-burns are cheese-grits-burns. That shit really, really burns!

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