Puck You, IOC!

The Canadian Women's Hockey team won the Gold Medal for the third consecutive time. They shook hands, high fived, got their medals, sang "O, Canada," and then celebrated. Then they apologized.

Apparently the IOC was upset because they took the celebration back onto the ice after the spectators were gone, drinking beer and champagne, smoking cigars, and taking pictures. As far as I have been able to discern, there were no illegal drugs, no hookers (or gigolos) and no damage was done to the arena.

Apparently, the IOC is OK with muckity-mucks taking bribes for their vote on the next Olympic host, but not OK with fun.

On behalf of the Canadian Women's Hockey Team (though they have no idea who I am), let me say to the IOC - "PUCK YOU, HOSERS. YOU SUCK!"

Those ladies worked their asses off for years to be that good at hockey. And most of them will never be able to make a living at it since professional sports are basically non-existent for women.

What's more, we're talking hockey, here, not Ladies Fig's (which I just learned refers to Ladies Figure Skating). It's rough and violent and fast and stinky. It's the least civilized of all the winter sports. Did you expect them to celebrate with flourishing bows in sequined outfits? If you did, you're pretty fucking stupid.

So I say if they wanna guzzle some beer and smoke some stogies in the privacy of the empty arena, who the hell are you to object? Mind your own business, eh.

Elderly Italian Chef Enjoys Eating Pu$$ie$

A TV chef in Italy has been suspended from production because of his love of Gatto in Umido. In English, this is CAT STEW.

The fur began to fly during a broadcast of the live show when 77 year old chef Giuseppe "Beppe" Bigazzi began explaining that the stew is a delicacy of the Tuscan Arno Valley.

Apparently, the feline nosh become popular as a result of food shortages during and after WWII. But Beppe insisted that it was not purely out of desperation, but an appreciation of the delectable taste. He instructed how to prep Garfield and what kind of sauce is best.

The co-host was shocked and the producers offended. Beppe refused to apologize and was suspended. He predicted he would be excoriated by what he called "racist environmentalists."

I'm not sure what race has to do with eating cats. And I doubt sparing kitty from the crock-pot will help fight global warming. Beppe simply doesn't get it. People don't want to imagine him eating Fluffy.

The divergence between pet and food is more blurry for some species: rabbits, pigs, guinea fowl, etc. But cats? Not so much, at least among western cultures.

I actually have cats as pets. But I don't think his POV is that offensive. It's not like he's trapping people's pets and serving them in his restaurant. At least I don't think he is.

People can be such snobs. In huge portions of the world, people eat reptiles and insects. And we are offended by cat stew? Please!

Let Texas Secede, Raise America's IQ

Just saw this on The Daily Kos and had to pass it along and comment.

According to a University of Texas/Texas Tribune Poll, nearly 1/3 of Texans believe humans and dinosaurs roamed the earth at the same time. Even worse, more than half of Texans reject the theory that humans developed from earlier species of animals.

I just ....... no words. It gets even worse.

* 38 percent of Texans agreed with the statement "God created human beings pretty much in their present form about 10,000 years ago."

* 22 percent of Texans said life has existed in its present form since the beginning of time

* 51 percent of Texans disagreed with the statement, "human beings, as we know them today, developed from earlier species of animals."

* only 41 percent pf Texans know that humans did not live at the same time as the dinosaurs

Americans - including Texans - have access to technology and education, and yet these knuckle-draggers are holding us back. (The irony - they reject evolution, and yet prove it by being superstitious cavemen (cavepeople?).) Remember this earlier blog about the less-evolved Neanderthals? Well, friends, we have found a tribe of them in Texas. How fitting.

So all you tea-bagging rednecks in Texas who want to secede from the US - go for it. Please. Form your own little ignorant Neanderthal nation and see what happens when you make neo-Neanderthals with your cousins. Good riddance to useless dead weight.

Afterword - Just as I was wrapping this up, I went looking for a picture of a human riding a dinosaur online, and I found this. "Why is it so difficult for people to accept that dinosaurs and humans once lived together?" the writers ask. Really? Um - just off the top of my head: carbon dating, scientific method, archaeological excavation, and thinking. Dumb shits.

Kansas, I Don't Think You're in Kansas Anymore

Kansas lawmaker Steve Brunk (R) (*shock*) equated the crime of rape with grand theft auto.

He is supporting a bill that would prohibit private insurance from covering voluntary abortions unless the insured buys a "special" plan. This prohibition would not apply to abortions performed to save the life of the mother, or in cases of rape or incest, but in the latter cases, ONLY if the victim filed a police report. No police report - no insurance, just like your car was stolen. That's what he said.

It always amazes me that Republicans want government just small enough to fit into everyone's bedroom, and into a woman's uterus. I though the GOP wanted the government out of people's lives. Oh, I see, they want government out of their lives, and infringing into other people's lives.

I would ask Mr. Brunk if he supports health care reform so that poor families can get medical care for their children. I would ask Mr. Brunk what he has done to fund adoption programs. And I would ask him to mind his own fucking business and let the private insurance industry and private citizens do business without his self-righteous, misogynistic POV being foisted on them. Yeah, I said foisted - the real "f-word."

What happened to Kansas? It used to be middle America. Now its the land of kooks and hatemongers who beat their chests with Bibles. Are lack of compassion and obsession with other people's reproductive choices tenets of Christianity that no one told me about?

If this is Kansas, give me Oz.

Tax Protesters are Stupid

No, this is not a picture from September 11, 2001. This is from today.

In Texas, a tax-protesting-moron named Joseph Stack (let's call him "Joe the Dumber") set fire to his own house and then flew a small plane into an office building. He's a terrorist. Don't care that he's a right-wing white guy in Texas. Killing a bunch of innocent people because the world will not conform to his personal idea of Nirvana is a terrorist act. And I'm guessing he won't even get 72 virgins. Moron.

No one loves paying taxes. Despite what Rush and Glenn may tell people, liberals don't get teary and sentimental paying taxes (at least I don't). We just agree with the rather capitalistic idea that we should pay for what we get: like military protection, police and fire services, paved roads, FEMA, a public education, air traffic controllers, the DMV, street lights (traffic and illuminating), etc. The list can go on and on and on. We take for granted the many services our federal, state, and local governments provide that make our lives bearable. They provide these services so we can have a stable and comfortable society, so we can live, so we can do business.

Do the big bailouts piss me off? They sure as hell do! But that does not excuse me from paying taxes. Plus, we forget that when there are bailouts, the money usually gets paid back. Back in the S&L crisis in the 1980s, the Resolution Trust Corporation was created for bailing out, and all of that money was repaid. And many banks today have repaid their bailout money. Plus, we still have banks, which we kinda need to do business.

So can we stop acting like petulant children, or in the case of Joe the Dumber, like suicidal terrorist douchebags? As a percentage, Americans pay lower taxes than most other industrialized countries, and we have a very stable government, a great military, and a free society in which to live and transact business. Maybe when we pay our taxes, we should console ourselves with the fact that we get something pretty great for our money.

Making Fun of Sister Sarah - The International Language

One technique for ending adversarial relationships is finding common ground. We may have found common ground with the middle east - at least Saudi Arabia. Apparently, Saudis like to make fun of Sarah Palin too.

When Hillary Clinton recently held a town meeting in the Arab country, the following transpired: "Does the prospect of Sarah Palin one day becoming president maybe terrify you?" the student asked. "And if so, would you consider emigrating to Canada or possibly even Russia?"

She laughed heartily at the question and said no, she would not emigrate from the US, but she would visit a lot.

Do you know what terrifies me? This student in Saudi Arabia knows that Sister Sarah is an ignorant tool, but large numbers of Americans think she should be our next President. To quote Forest Gump, "Stupid is as stupid does." Well, supporting Palin in any election - and I mean any - is STUPID. And anyone who does it is, IMO, STUPID.

I will grant one except to the sweeping judgment of stupidity: it is possible that someone could vote for Palin because he or she simply hates this country. That could be. Though aside from malice and stupidity, I see no rational basis to ever take her seriously. And this bright young man from Saudi Arabia agrees with me.

So with this common ground, I hope that our Secretary of State can forge a better relationship with the Arab world. After all, if enemy of my enemy is my friend, then surely the other people who mock the redneck wolf-shooting moron are my friends as well.

This Just In: Adam Lambert Bitch-Slaps Rudeness

Two nights ago Glambert was performing a "stripped" (read acustic) concert for Iheartradio in NYC. Right in the front row, a woman took a cell phone call and proceed to talk on the phone very loudly during a rather emo performance of "Whadaya Want From Me." He made it through most of the song, then stopped singing. While the band continued to play for a moment, he asked her to turn off her phone. Told her she was "yelling" into the phone. Gave her a "Really?" And then mocked her a little saying "You're not watching TV, honey. This is a live show." Then he started the song over, much to the elation of the crowd.

The first blog I saw discuss this (Ricky.org) called Adam a Diva for behaving this way.

Thereafter, most bloggers and reporters have been pretty ncie to him, siding against rude cell phone use at such an event.

I had several thoughts about this entire kerfuffle -

Why even go to such a concert, fighting the crowd, parking, etc., only to piss on the event by talking on the phone? If you need to talk on the phone, stay home, or go to a Kanye West concert where rudeness is celebrated.

And holy balls! What cajones to take the call and shout into the phone right in front of American's newest WonderGay? Didn't she just know she was gonna get called out? Does Adam seem shy? At all?

She should count herself lucky that one of the cougar-aged LambSkanks in attendance didn't rip out her hair and lecture her on Adam's inherent glittery perfection.

Adam may have lost one fan by embarassing her for her rudeness. But he may have gained a whole new group of fans who know nothing about his music but are sick and fucking tired of rude and inconsiderate behavior.

*chanting* Go Glambert! Go Glambert! Go Glambert! Go Glambert!

You can see the video of the metaphorical bitch-slap here.