2010 Winter Games in Dire Need of a Snow Job

So with all the hubbub over the blizzard striking the deep south in the US, few have noticed the fact that Vancouver, BC has little or no snow for the 2010 Winter Games opening tonight. In fact, they just ended the warmest January on record for the city.

Maybe we should consider allowing Atlanta, GA to host the next winter games? (This picture from Atlanta taken today!) What with the climate change fiasco we are experiencing, who knows where to ski, or where to sunbathe?

They've had the snow machines running overtime in Vancouver to get the mountains all white and icy for the skiers. But if the spectators show up in shorts, Imma turn it off. Seriously.

Lead, Follow, or Get The Hell Outta the Way!

Pictured: Sen. Minority (GOP) Leader Mitch McConnell, aka "Yurtle, the Turtle"

OK, GOP, you had the White House for 8 years and Congress for 7 years, and you screwed it all up so badly, it may take an entire generation to recover.

So deservedly, you lost many elections and you are the minority party. Now, take your lumps, and act like you give a crap about your country. You do this by taking the lead, following, or getting the hell out of the way.

Sure, you can probably win political momentum by simply being the party of Nope. (If this happens and you regain power by obstructing everything, the people get what they deserve. Also, turnabout is fair play. So expect similar treatment.)

But how much do you really hate your country and its people? Enough to see it flounder and its people jobless, without medical care, and suffering? Apparently, you are just a bunch of power-hungry, narcissistic, opportunistic pricks. Why else would you now threaten to filibuster and stop legislation you have previously supported, or even co-sponsored?

Like any bad child, you will not behave unless forced, so I will direct the remainder of my blog to the Democrats.

Democrats, get your head out of your tolerant, PC asses and fight for the American people.

Ex A - Sen. Dick Shelby(R-AL) has 70 federal homeland security appointments held up because he wants a huge earmark contract for an Airbus plant in his state. (Airbus is a French company, BTW.) They did this crap under Clinton too. So, change the rules. Publicly shame him at every opportunity. Dig up dirt on him and make him irrelevant. Stop taking this shit so peacefully. Right now, you are his accomplice in hurting the American people because you are doing nothing to stop him.

Ex B - GOP threatens to filibuster - everything. LET THEM! Let them filibuster and stand there on TV for days reading encyclopedias to prevent the government from functioning. Call their stupid bluff. What are you afraid of? I predict that the longer those dumb-asses talk, the higher the approval rating for the Dem's and Obama will go.

Ex C - The GOP lies, lies, lies, and they are not smart enough to lie cleverly. President Obama's question time with the GOP was a great first step in calling them out. Do it more! When they go on TV and lie, call a freaking press conference, go on the nightly news, do something, and CALL THEM LIARS. Especially the ones who lie all the time - McConnell, Palin, Rove, Cheney, etc (the list is too long).

Finally, accept that the GOP has been taken over by scary nuts. Large percentages of self-identified Republicans think Obama is not a citizen of the US, think Obama should be impeached, think that Obama is a socialist, etc. The Tea Baggers are advocating literacy tests to vote, and let's be honest - they are Republicans. (Racist much?) Show me something that is not white, christian, heterosexual, and/or NASCAR, and I'll show you something they hate (read "fear").

I say give them lip service and shame the GOP into cooperating if you can, but be prepared to cut the head off that snake, 'cause dudes (and dudettes), it's a snake. It's not your friend, and it's not on your side. What's worse, it's not on any side but its own.

EW! and OMG! and WTF!? All in One Story

AN 11 YEAR OLD AMERICAN GIRL HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO A SON.

OK, the EW! - some guy had sex with a 10-year-old girl. Hope they find that molesting bastard and lock his pervy ass up.

Now the OMG! - it was reportedly a vaginal delivery. An 11 year old girl is not fully grown, her bones are not fused, and her small size and mid-pubescent body is NOT designed for pregnancy or delivery. Doctors say she may not grow any more because of this pregnancy.

And finally, the WTF!? - One of the reports I saw on this story said the baby's father is the girl's mother's (the baby's grandmother's) boyfriend. And Grandma announced that the baby is "absolutely beautiful." I'm glad, but WTF!? Grandma should go to jail too. What the fuck is her problem?

If I have ever heard a case for an abortion, this was it. (Yeah, that's right, I said it!) Since that decision was not made when it should have been, I hope all are healthy and fine. But let's go back to week 6 of the 10 year-old's pregnancy. What went through that fucked-up mom's mind? "Oh goody, a grandchild! And he'll look just like my hot boyfriend since he's the baby daddy."

I think a more rational reaction would have been: "Officer, can you come arrest my child-molesting boyfriend who knocked-up my 10-year-old daughter. Then we'll need a ride to the local Women's Health Clinic to terminate this pregnancy that is a monumental and criminal mistake that is endangering my daughter's health and life.")

I always think that I have heard the most bizarre thing ever and I will never get surprised again, and then fucked-up shit like this happens, and I am stunned.

So to summarize - EW! and OMG! and WTF!?

Don't Worry Utah, Sen. Hatch Does Hate Gay People After All!

Utah Senator Orrin Hatch told MSNBC's Andrea Mitchell earlier today that he “believe[d] there are very outstanding, patriotic gay people who serve in the military. … And they shouldn’t have to lie about being gay.” When asked if he would support of Don't Ask, Don't Tell (aka Lie Your Ass Off To Die For Your Country), he said he "didn't know about that." Not exactly waving a rainbow flag, but pretty middle-of-the-road for the conservative Mormon Republican. This obviously made news.

Cue back-peddling!

Clearly afraid that his conservative Mormon constituents might think he does not H8 gay people, he quickly amended his previous position, stating "It’s deeply regrettable that liberal groups are misconstruing my position on ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ for activist purposes. I certainly do not support repealing this policy.”

Whew! Close call, there Orrin! Your gay-H8ing constituents might have had to find a more conservative alternative to you the next time your dynasty in the Senate is up for review. (Of course, being Utah, it won't be Tea Baggers, 'cause Mormons aren't permitted to consume that evil drink.)

In all seriousness, it's too bad Orrin couldn't be the leader he seemed to instinctively want to be. He sounded like a reasonable guy there for a few minutes. Then the GOP Nope police pulled him over and most assuredly beat him into political submission. Orrin, Teddy would be ashamed of you.

Is there not a single leader in the GOP? Not one? No one who's willing to do what even he or she thinks is best for the country? It's sad to see the Party of Lincoln has degenerated to this - mindless automatons who hold onto the Nope rope in order to obstruct governing.

I have a couple of questions for you, GOP. If you do get some power, who is going to lead you? And what if you reap what you sow and the Dems become the party of Nope? What will you do then?

Don't worry your empty little heads about it right now. It's not like your party to have an exit strategy anyway. Fiddle-Dee-Dee. Worry about that tomorrow. For now, take comfort in the fact that your party is still the party of Nope - and H8.

Why Would Anyone Want to Bring Marie Antoinette Back from the Dead?

I know PigeonPoll is stupid anyway, but this just caught my attention. The poll question: Who would you want to bring back from the dead? Most of the options were musical performers, Elvis, Janis Joplin, etc. But one option was Marie Antoinette.

Marie Antoinette? Who the fuck would want to bring back Marie Antoinette?

First, we probably wouldn't be able to communicate because her dialect of French would be difficult to understand (I'm guessing).

Second, what a spoiled bitch! Let them eat cake?

And finally, how many Americans even know who the hell she is?

Come on, PigeonPoll. Give us some real options. I didn't even see Michael Jackson on the list!

(Though, on the up side - we could land a rescue helicopter on her foreheadscape.)

Neo-Cons are Neo-Crazy

So this guy, Daniel Pipes, who opposes and "fears" Obama's policies (his words) has suggested that he (Obama) can save his presidency by "bombing Iran." WHAT! THE! FUCK?!!!

We mock Ahmadinejad for being crazy, psycho, homicidal, whatever, when he suggests that Israel should be destroyed. How is he any different from Daniel Pipes? They both have beards. They are both homicidal. They both like attention. And neither has any real power. Huh. Not different at all.

Mr. Pipes' suggestion has several layers of crazy.

Layer 1 - bombing any country to "save" your political job is evil to the tenth power. As exhibit A, I offer this evil dude who truly redefined "wagging the dog:"


Layer 2 - It is crazy to suggest that Obama would do such a thing IMO. In addition to what he is already forced to do in Iraq and Afghanistan, Obama may have to bomb something or someone at some point to protect America or its interests, but since he understands the concepts of diplomacy, sanctions, communication, tolerance, multilateral action, and strategy, I trust that if he does, it will only be because there were no other options. Unlike Exhibit A up there.

Layer 3 - Why the fuck would this asshat want to "save" Obama's presidency? Maybe he doesn't. May instead, he wants to prevent him from implementing his policies hoping the US will utterly fail so his minions can swoop in again and profiteer off of America's suffering (as they did with Haliburton after 9/11 and the unwarranted war in Iraq.) What other explanation is there for the GOP to oppose and criticize proposed policies that THEY ONCE CO-SPONSORED!?

And just to complete the red-velvet-like quality to this fucked-up cake - Layer 4 - Have we not pissed off enough Muslims in the world? I know we were the "victims" on 9/11, but since then, we have invaded two Muslim countries, still occupying both. And bombing Iran is really, really a bad idea. There is a growing political movement of moderate, westernized young people in Iran. It will be a struggle there for years to come, but a truly free Iran will only grow from within. It cannot be foisted upon them. Since they are on their way (remember Tienanmen Square in the early 1990s?), let them be. Monitor them, sanction them when they misbehave, etc., but an unprovoked attack?

I know it's like feeding the lions to sing "bomb, bomb, bomb... bomb, bomb Iran." It gets the pulses racing and gives the rednecks "funny feelings in their pants." But that's not leadership, that's hooliganism.

Hooligans at soccer games are scary and potentially deadly. Hooligans in the Whitehouse are really scary and potentially genocidal.

Taylor Gave Swift, Painful Kick to Rhiannon

I have never really been a Taylor Swift fan. But I've also never had much bad to say about her. I found her music a little boring, but it was good enough. And I respect that she writes her own stuff and plays instruments. And as you can see above, she is a very pretty young woman.

Here comes the big BUT:

What she did to Rhiannon with Stevie Nicks last night on the Grammys is truly unforgettable - and not in a good way. She made Stevie Nicks sound good.

I have heard other people say Taylor couldn't sing, and I never really thought that - until last night. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was not even close to singing the right notes. I mean, she wasn't flat or sharp, she was galactically wrong.

I heard one person suggest she was drunk. Does drinking make her deaf? I was a little tipsy watching it, and I could tell she was fucking it up!

I waited 'til today to see if I really wanted to blog about this. It seems like kicking a "bitch" while she is down. But then she won for Album of the Year - over GaGa and Beyonce - and I thought, fuck it. That tone deaf bitch can take a beatdown.

So, to you Taylor Swift, I say this: don't take it to heart. Bob Dylan is a true artist, a poet of his generation, and he can't really sign either. Just stick to writing and keep the singing in the studio where the engineers and reverb can fix it. It's what Brittany does, and it seems to work for her.

Also, all you cool cats who mock American Idol - did you hear Carrier Underwood and Jennifer Hudson? They sounded fantastic! Maybe the rest of the music industry can use a little Hollywood Week and Simon-judging - DAWG.