Don't believe in Santa Clause? You better get on board cuz Santa will run a bitch down!
In Canada, a woman was run over by the Santa Clause float in her town's Christmas parade. When I saw this headline my only thought was, "How fucking slow is that woman?" I mean, parade floats, like "float" down the street. I've participated in a few parades in my life, and you can just mosey and stay ahead of the floats. I think this lady was trying to commit suicide by Santa Clause. Or maybe, just maybe, it was a cry for help.
I just wonder if she has "Clause marks" on her back.
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